This is coming from someone who also has a safe person.
When we think they’re safe, they’re not. They can’t do more than you do yourself. Learn your tips and tricks to manage your agoraphobia and anxiety/panic. Don’t become reliant on people to help you or become reliant on them to be your safe person.
Safe people can’t handle being safe for us. It’s overwhelming to them, when we need them more and more. Then they become toxic to us, whether it is in bullying or abuse, enabling or neglect.
It’s a hard lesson I am learning myself. Agoraphobia is about either recovery or life management. Learn what you can to be able to be there for yourself, but never become so totally reliant on another because it rarely ends up being a good thing.
Agoraphobia is not the fear of people.
It’s not the fear of socializing.
It doesn’t mean people are hermits.
It doesn’t mean all of that.
Agoraphobia is the fear of feeling trapped, panicking, being in a situation that would be difficult to escape.
I am not afraid of people, I smile at them when I walk past them in the street. I’ll even say hello.
I’m not a hermit, even if a week will go by before I leave the house. I don’t shun people’s company.
I do have social anxiety and minor social phobia, but that means that I’m more afraid of how people perceive me in social situations than anything.
I’m not anti-social, however I don’t want to be in a bar, club, pub or at a party because I find these situations uncomfortable, a trap and I dislike the feeling of being trapped or forced to be “normal” according to someone else’s definition.
This is why people with mental health find it so difficult to talk about what they deal with. You put them on the spot and then instantly label them instead of sitting down to understand them as a person, try to accept what they’re dealing with. You force your society ideals on them, choking them with your own views of what a person is.
Some people are not social and some people are. It’s the simple fact of the matter.